Red Eye in 15 Minutes
by Aoi Dragon
Summary: A hilariously funny summary parody of Red Eye. If anyone has found the Movies in 15 Minutes on Livejournal, that is where the idea came from. Credit to Cleo! One shot.


**Aoi Dragon: IT'S REPOSTED IN STORY FORMAT!!!! ENJOY!!!! Thanks to Cleo on Livejournal for the idea… and I don't have livejournal… by the way…**

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**Red Eye in 15 minutes**

**Some dock**

Some thugs open crate, move fish, and take out shiny box of plot point and put in van.

**Some house**

Some guy's hand puts down the wallet of plot point with initials JR next to pretty girl's grad picture. A second later, some other guy's hand steals the wallet of plot point.

**Some hotel room**

Some guy opens package and receives the wallet of plot point.

**ZOOM IN on Big hotel: Lux Atlantic**

Cynthia says, "Although I'm a red head, I talk like a ditsy blonde."

Mrs. Taylor complains, "WHERE'S OUR RESERVATION?"

Mr. Taylor yells, "CALL LISA OR YOU'RE ASS IS FIRED!"

Cynthia shrinks away to telephone to call Lisa.

**Somewhere in a storm**

Pretty girl from grad picture answers her cell phone, "Lisa Reisert."

Cynthia on end of the phone panics, "I NEED YOUR HELP!"

Lisa says, "Ok. Here's what you need to do. GIVE THEM A NEW ROOM!" She glances at phone when it vibrates again, "DADDY'S CALLING ME!"

Cynthia says, "Oh and one more thing, the secretary of Homeland security is coming."

Lisa replies, "They're special. 3825 is their room."

Taxi Driver glances back at Lisa, "… We're at the airport."

Lisa smiles, "Thanks. Keep the money you poor sod."

**In the airport and in Joe's house, changing perspectives according to the person talking**

Lisa's phone rings, "Oh! Sorry Daddy. I totally didn't mean to hang up on you."

Joe, who is at home, says, "I lost my wallet. Where are you? Are you ok? Do you need a ride? Did you finish the Dr. Phil book I gave you? Did you remember that I'm remodeling the upstairs, but not moving anything in your room?"

Lisa says, "That's too bad. Dallas Airport. Yes. No, you lost your wallet. Almost. Yes." The she hangs up.

Flight Monitors taunt poor Lisa, "HAHA! YOUR FLIGHT IS DELAYED!!!!"

Lisa frowns, "Shit. I hope I'm sitting next to a hot guy."

**Some ticket line for a non-existent airline**

Lisa bumps in to old lady while reading her Dr. Phil book, "Sorry."

Old lady sees Dr. Phil Book, "Dr. Phil is the shit!"

Lisa says, "Here take the book. Weirdo."

Airport woman calls out, "People going somewhere that's not Miami come to the front of the line."

A man who doesn't really look like he's in line growls at her, "WTF! I've been here for an hour… and I'm still here! GET YOUR BOSS!"

Lisa intervenes, "Shut it or we're not going anywhere because getting her boss will slow us down even more."

The man glares at her, "You –"

Another man glares with freakishly blue eyes, "You don't even look like you're in line so get out of here, and we hate you. So go get your thank you's somewhere else."

Man shrinks from freaky blue eyed glare, "This airlines sucks." He gets out of there.

Another airlines woman calls, "NEXT!" And the Old Lady goes up to her.

Blue eyed man turns to Lisa, "Where'd you learn that?"

Lisa says, "Hotel. I wait on ass holes like that all the time."

Blue eyed man plays 20 Questions, "Hilton?"

Lisa says, "No."

Blue eyed man asked, "Marriot?"

Lisa shakes her head, "No."

Blue eyed man smiles, "OH! I KNOW! Lux Atlantic?"

Lisa says, "YES! How did you know? It's in Miami."

Blue eyed man smiles, "Then I think we're on the same flight to Miami."

Lisa says, "Looks like it."

Blue eyed man: I like nachos. Want to join me.

Lisa thinks, 'HELL YES!' But Lisa says, "Ummm… no… I like my phone."

Blue eyed man sighs, "What ever. See you later."

**Random airport hallway**

Somehow Lisa miraculously and quickly got through security.

Airport stewardess smiles at a young girl, "Rebecca?"

The little girl points to herself, "Me."

Her mom turns to her daughter, "You ok?"

The little girl says, "Yes." But the little girl thinks, 'Don't make me hurt you.'

Lisa smiles and turns to see Blue eyed man at the bar and smashes in to a woman with coffee and it goes down Lisa's blazer, "WTF! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING! Shit, now I'm going to have to change my outfit."

**Random bathroom**

Lisa strips in front of the mirror.

The Rachel McAdams fan boys in the audience swoon

Lisa pauses to stare at a plot point scar, and changes in to a white blouse.

**Some bar**

Blue eyed man looks up and smiles, "I didn't think you'd come."

Lisa says, "Well, you're hot, so what the hell."

Blue eyed man grins, "Let me guess your drink." He guesses twice before concluding, "Grapefruit sea breeze."

Lisa thinks, 'HOLY SHIT HE'S RIGHT! Just to spite him, I'll order something else.' Lisa says, "Bay breeze."

Blue eyed man inquires, "You here on hotel business and back story?"

Lisa says, "Grandma croaked. She was ninety one. Loved grape nuts and Duke's nuts."

Blue eyed man nods, "FINALLY time for introductions. I'm Jackson. Don't call me Jack."

They shake hands. Lisa says, "Lisa. Why not Jack?"

Jackson says, "I have the totally cool last name of Rippner. Back story of woe… so this one day I got pissed off at my mum and dad for naming me after Jack the Ripper, and I killed them… in the kitchen… with the knife." He smirks (_Clue_ reference).

Lisa says, "… Ha?"

TV Reporter stares blankly, "Secretary of Homeland Security, Charles Keefe. Blah."

TV Keefe's big face appears on the screen, "SPEECHYNESS! CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!"

Random airport woman says over the intercom, "WE ARE FINALLY READY TO TAKE OFF TO MIAMI!"

Everyone cheers, "Yay!"

Jackson says, "I'll pay for your drink." He pays and his cell phone rings, "Yeah? Hold on. Got to take this. Later."

Lisa almost gets run over by teens with headphones as she boards the plane.

**On the plane**

Lisa -finds her seat and sees Jackson, and thinks 'OMG! I AM SITTING NEXT TO A HOT GUY! YAY ME!'

Jackson says, "Hi! I'll help you with luggage, even though you're probably strong enough to lift it by yourself, I'm trying to pretend to be a gentleman, here."

Lisa flirts.

Jackson "flirts."

Old lady comes by, "DR. PHIL IS THE SHIT!"

Lisa face palms. Jackson gives her a clueless look and Lisa says, "Don't ask."

Blonde lady a.k.a Sheila is having trouble with her carry on luggage, "HELP!"

Jackson mutters, "She's taller than me, but what the hell." He helps Sheila, while she flirts and Jackson eye rolls towards Lisa.

Teen boys make smart comments about crashing. Lisa is scared. Jackson asks about back story, focusing on her Dad until the ride calms.

Lisa says, "Thanks for distracting me."

Jackson says, "That's not really what I'm doing."

Now Lisa starts playing 20 Questions, "You're not Dr. Crane, are you?" (_Batman Begins_ reference)

Jackson says, "Who the hell is that? Never mind. No, I'm not."

Lisa says, "Oh. So what do you do?"

Jackson says, "I kill important people indirectly."

Lisa asks, "Spy?"

Jackson replies, "That's Daniel Craig's new job. So nope."

Lisa says, "CIA?"

Jackson replies, "I'm actually not American… My accent is fake… so nope."

Lisa says, "Hit man?"

Jackson says, "Can't shoot worth shit."

Lisa says, "Mafia?"

Jackson says, "Money's shit."

Lisa gives up, "… I'm out of ideas."

Jackson growls, "I KILL IMPORTANT PEOPLE INDIRECTLY? UNDERSTAND???"

Lisa shrinks away and presses call button, "Weirdo…"

Jackson whips out snazzy wallet of plot point with initials JR on them, "John Ryder… err… Joe Reisert. Your father." (Reference to _The Hitcher_)

Lisa gasps, "OMGWTF! Where did you get it?"

Jackson says, "Not me. Mr. Killer outside Daddy's house with a big knife listening to smooth jazz waiting for my word to kill him got it."

Lisa looks frightened, "OMFG!" And stands up, "Someone help meeeeeeeeeee!"

Jackson says, " SIT BITCH!"

Lisa sits, "What do you want?"

Jackson says, "Make a phone call, change a room and then I get to kill someone and get lots o' money!"

Flight attendant approaches, "Something wrong?"

Jackson answers, "Death."

Flight attendant frowns sympathetically, "Oh, sorry. I'll go get water and tissues." She leaves to go do that.

Lisa asks, "Is my Daddy ok?"

Jackson says, "Yes. Wait for your Kleenex and water. You'll feel better."

Flight attendant comes back, "Feel better."

Jackson hands Lisa the bottle of water, "Water?"

Lisa says, "…"

Jackson drinks water.

Cillian Murphy fan girls swoon, "Oh to be that water bottle."

(A/N: He has a wife, you know…)

Cillian Murphy fan girls growl, "Who cares? He's _HAWT_!"

Lisa says, "I WANT MY DADDY RIGHT NOW!"

Jackson face palms.

Lisa is on phone with Joe, "DADDY!"

Joe is on the other line You ok?

Lisa says, "Turbulence, but –"

Jackson hangs up phone, "Happy? Now make the call."

Sheila comes towards them again, "Sorry. I'm a ditzy blonde and you're a handsome stranger that I like to hit on. Will you help me get some pointless stuff out of my carry on that should actually be in my suitcase?"

Jackson growls, "Grrrrrrrr…."

Lisa says, "…"

Old Lady comes over, "Dr. Phil is the shit!"

Lisa face palms.

Old Lady requests, "Write stuff. Address please. I want to return the favor." Lisa writes for help, avoiding Jackson's glances towards her. Old Lady grins and takes back the book, "DR PHIL IS THE SHIT!" And leaves.

Jackson sits, "I have to assume she's going to read that." Lisa gives him an innocent look. Jackson head butts her. Lisa goes unconscious.

Jackson strokes Lisa after setting her head against the plane wall, "Stupid." And wipes away a waterfall of blood, "Must get book from Dr. Phil freak."

**Joe's house**

Joe is watching TV and eating food. Something is knocked against the door. It's just a newspaper. Joe zeros in on a suspicious looking car, but goes back inside.

**On the plane**

Jackson says, "Blah blah facts blah blah head hurt."

Lisa says, "Uuuhg… Shut up already. I have a headache."

Jackson asks, "Aspirin?"

Lisa says, "Fine." She drinks from the water bottle.

Rachel McAdams fan boys swoon, "Oh to be that water bottle."

Jackson says, "Make the call."

Lisa says, "Just so you shut up."

Cynthia on air-phone, "Hello. Lux Atlantic Resort, this is Cynthia."

Lisa says, "Cynthia, I need a favor. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200." But the phone cuts, and Jackson's not looking, "Uh… Keefe's room must be changed to 4080. Yeah…"

Jackson sees phones are out of service, yet Lisa is still talking, and snatches phone from Lisa, "Hello? Cynthia?"

Lisa says, "Shit."

Jackson says, "You think well on your feet. When this is all over, I may have to steal you."

Jackson/Lisa fans cheer, "YAY!"

Jackson asks, "How did you get this lonely? Parents' divorce? Heart break?"

Lisa winces, "I have to pee."

Jackson sighs, "Go."

Lisa waits for the bathroom.

Rebecca comes towards her, "HI! I just poofed on this flight because I felt like it. Are you in line?"

Lisa says, "Yes."

Rebecca grumbles, "You know the blooper was much funnier than the actual movie scene."

Lisa says, "Yes." The lavatory opens, and she goes in. She collapses crying, and slowly regains composure. Then she washes hands and has an epiphany. Lisa says, "I think I'll use the foamy soap to write for help."

**In the seats**

Jackson says, "Phones are back online. Where's Lisa?"

**The lavatory**

Lisa washes the soap off her hands, and opens the door.

Jackson says, "I was wondering…" He sees Lisa's help message, "WTF!" And tackles Lisa.

Jackson/Lisa fan girls cheer, "YAY!"

Jackson says, "Breathe. Although you can't really breathe with my hand over your nose and mouth."

**Outside the lavatory of not S-E-X**

Flight attendant comes towards the girl, "Rebecca!"

Rebecca points to the lavatory, "I think they're having sex in there."

Flight attendant makes a disgusted face, "I SO didn't want to know that."

**Inside the lavatory of not S-E-X**

Lisa says, "Don't kill my Daddy."

Jackson says, "I saved him twice already you lovely bitch."

Lisa sputters, "What?"

Jackson sees her scar of plot point, "What's this? What's this? I must be dreaming; wake up Jack! Did someone do that to you?" (_Nightmare Before Christmas_ reference)

Lisa says, "No."

Jackson says, "That's what this is about. You lied about your drink because I've been stalking you for eight weeks." He chokes Lisa. Lisa gasps. Jackson lets go and starts wiping off the soap from the mirror, "Our jobs are a lot alike. If we do things wrong our lives go to shit. That's not going to happen, is it Leese?"

Lisa says, " No…." Lisa thinks, 'Yes….'

Jackson says, "Good. Now get back to your seat before we have sex in here."

Jackson/Lisa fans complain, "NOOOO!!! WE WANT YOU TO DO THAT!!!!!"

Flight attendant just outside the Lavatory of not S-E-X, "NO SEX ON THE AIRPLANE!"

Jackson says, "… Whatever."

One of the two teen guys wakes up, "WHERE THE HELL IS MY UBER COOL BART SIMPSON FRANKENSTEIN PEN?"

**Random jet**

Keefe and family having a good time on a late night flight trying to organize things for their arrival in Miami.

**The Plane again**

Jackson says, "Make the call."

Lisa says, "FINE! JUST SHUT UP!"

Cynthia on phone again, "Still need that favor, Lisa?"

Lisa says, "Yes. Change Keefe's room to 4080."

Cynthia asks, "Ok… why?"

Lisa says, "The toilet's broken in 3825. So change the room."

Cynthia says, "Ok." And hangs up.

Lisa turns to Jackson, " Call Mr. Killer. Save my Daddy.

Jackson says, "No. I need to know if things are done right. And I want to steal you."

Lisa says, "…"

Jackson says, "I'll even buy you coffee."

Lisa grumbles, "… I hate you." And says louder, "Ooooo coffee."

Jackson says, "Yes, the Keefes will be history."

Lisa says, "His family too? You're horrible."

Jackson gulps, "I do my part and move on."

**Lux Atlantic**

Shiny SUVs pull up quickly to the front of the hotel.

Head of Security yells, "MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! I WANT THAT MONEY AT THE END OF SURVIVOR: LUX ATLANTIC! MOVE! (_Survivor_ reference due to casting)

Cynthia says, "Welcome! We're putting you in 4080."

Head of Security glares, "WTF! We're in 3825."

Cynthia says, "Bad toilets there. 4080 is GOOD!"

Mrs. Keefe says, "The kids are tired.

Keefe echoes, "The kids are tired."

Head of Security sighs, "OK!"

**On the plan again**

Lisa says, "Ouchie…" And leans over.

Jackson says, "WTF? What the hell's wrong with you?"

Lisa says, "You hit me on the head, smashed me in to some walls and the meds just wore off. I have a headache you ass hole!" And whispers, "PEN!"

Jackson says, "… Oh. Sit up."

**Lux Atlantic – Room 4080**

The security guards look at and under everything… except the place mats… because dangerous weapons are ALWAYS hidden under place mats! (_Firefly_ reference where the Alliance soldiers check for the two fugitives under the place mats.)

Head of Security asks, "Is that a boat I see?"

Other guy replies, "Yes."

Head of Security glares, "Get it out of here."

**On the plane again**

Circling Miami. Lisa looks determined. Jackson clicks randomly on his cell phone.

Jackson says, "I'll buy you coffee since you've been such a good girl. Then I'll disappear out of your life… except when I come to steal you."

Lisa says, "Whatever."

Jackson says, "WTF? That's different."

Lisa says, "Just disappear already."

The plane lands.

Everybody except Lisa says, "Yay."

Lisa whispers, "PEN!"

**Some Yacht**

Coast Guard asks, "You fishing?"

People on the boat answer, "Yeah." With shifty eyes.

Coast Guard nods, "Ok." And leaves.

**On the Plane again**

Plane is being ferried to the gate

Lisa unbuckles seatbelt quietly, "I shall tell you a story of woe is me. Remember the scar? Well, day time, rape, knife… Woe… and sadness… And you know what?"

Jackson asks, "You can't control everything?"

Lisa says, "No. It's never going to happen again."

Plane arrives at gate

Jackson looks up when seatbelt sign flashes.

Lisa stabs Jackson with the pen, "TAKE THAT YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" And climbs over him, grabs his cell phone, he trips her, "HOLY!" She runs down the aisle, dodging people, "I have another flight!"

Jackson thinks, 'I'm on the floor.' Jackson says, "HACK!"

Sheila comes to him, "What's wrong sweet heart? HOLY SHIT! YOU GOT A PEN IN YOUR NECK! DOCTOR! DOCTOR!"

Lisa says to Stewardess, "A man back there needs help."

Jackson thinks, 'Fuck this shit. I have to get Lisa.' He goes to lavatory of not S-E-X and glares at injury.

Sheila sees Lisa, "STOP THAT WOMAN! She STABBED HIM!"

Lisa says, "Shit." And barely escapes.

A Stewardess goes to airport phone, "SECURITY!"

**Miami Airport**

Lisa says, "Must escape… Jackson and security. I'm now Wendy from airport food services."

She sits with some random women as some security guards run past. As her "clients" watch the security guards, Lisa disappears.

**The plane lavatory of not S-E-X**

Man from ticket line, "Hi. I'm actually a Doctor. You'll be fine. It's not dangerous. Don't pull it." Jackson pulls the pen out and covers the wound with his hand. Doctor gawks, "DUDE! YOU NEED SURGERY, MAN!"

Rebecca glares, "I knew he was bad." And trips Jackson with her duffel bag.

Jackson says, " GRRRRRR!!!!" Jackson thinks, 'I KEEL YOU NEXT TIME I SEE YOU!' And grabs Sheila's scarf on the way out.

**Miami Airport**

Lisa tries Jackson's cell phone, "THEY CAN'T HEAR ME NOW BECAUSE HIS PHONE HAS NO FUCKING SERVICE!" (Verizon reference?)

Security guards run towards her, "We're coming to get you."

Lisa hides behind a magazine, "Are they gone?" She peeks out and sees Jackson.

Jackson sees Lisa and says, "GRRRRRR!" And thinks, 'I'm coming to keel you!'

Lisa says, "AHH!!!" And runs.

And they chase each other through the airport. Lisa finally escapes on a monorail.

Lisa gives the finger, "HA! YOU RUN SLOW! AND I TRIPPED A FEW TIMES AND YOU STILL DIDN'T CATCH ME! HAHA!"

**Lux Atlantic**

Security guy says, "All clear."

Head of Security nods, "Bring them up."

Keefe's look off the balcony because the kids are suddenly awake.

**On the yacht**

The guys are speaking Russian. They pull up the big shiny box from the beginning out of the ocean. Yes they were fishing… for the box.

**Miami Airport**

Lisa steals a car and starts driving like a maniac on the highway. She tries Jackson's cell phone again.

Lisa says, "SHIT! THE BASTARD'S BATTERY IS LOW! ONE CALL! AT LEAST ONE CALL!"

Dodges a car accident.

Phone displays: Calling the Lux

**Lux Atlantic switching with car perspective**

Cynthia says, "Hel–

Lisa yells, "KEEFE'S GONNA DIE IN THAT ROOM! GET HIM OUT! NOW!"

Cynthia says, "WTF?"

Lisa says, "KEEFE IS A TARGET! GET HIM OUT! HE'S GOING TO DIE! DO SOMETHING NOW!"

Cynthia says, "OMG…. OMG… SHIT! SHIT, SHIT!" She pulls fire alarm, "GET OUT EVERYONE!"

**Car**

Lisa says, "ONE MORE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Phone displays: No dice.

Lisa says, "SHIT!"

**Yacht**

Some guy opens shiny box and sees, "A FUN ROCKET LAUNCHER!"

**Lux Atlantic – Suite 4080**

Cynthia says, "Get Keefe out. That's what Lisa says."

Head of Security yells, "CODE RED! CODE RED!"

Security guard hands him a Mountain Dew: Code Red.

Head of Security drinks it and yells, "Mmmm! NOW GET KEEFE OUT!"

Security guard sees the rocket… missile… thing, "OMG! THERE'S A MISSLE COMING!"

They all flee to the special elevator. The room blows up sending to security guards flying.

The room goes BOOM!

Cynthia says, "OMFG…"

**Car on road to Joe's house**

Lisa passes the suspicious car from earlier to see that there's no one inside. She continues to her Dad's house and sees Mr. Killer and promptly runs him in to the house.

Lisa says, "I think he's dead…" She sees pool of blood coming from Mr. Killer's ear and mouth, "Yep."

Joe comes forward, "Lisa? What's going on?"

Lisa says, "Long story. I need a band aid. And perhaps some aspirin…"

Joe nods, "I called 911."

Lisa says, "Good. We'll need them." She calls the Cynthia's cell phone.

**Switching between Cynthia's and Lisa's POVs**

Cynthia is walking through the rubble, "Yeah?"

Lisa says, "Is everyone safe?"

Cynthia says, "Yeah."

Lisa says, "Good. They don't pay us enough."

Cynthia says, "Yeah."

**Joe's house**

Lisa says, "Dad, I need a car…."

Jackson says in an extremely raspy voice, "Hi."

Lisa says, "You look like a girl."

Jackson says, "…"

Lisa says, "Where's my Dad?"

Jackson says, "Not dead… I'm going to make him watch what I'm going to do to you."

Lisa yells, "NO!" And runs to find her Dad unconscious in the kitchen, "DAD WAKE UP! THIS IS NO TIME FOR A NAP!"

Jackson says, "I'm finishing what I started."

Lisa says, "So it IS personal now? Well good for you, but you can just fuck yourself."

Jackson says, "…"

Lisa says, "Well, guess what? YOU CRITICALLY FAILED, JACK! And I am going to laugh by ass off when you get carted to jail."

Jackson says, "GRRRR… I'll finish the job."

Lisa says, "Not in my house." She runs, dumps over chairs which Jackson trips over and gets winded.

Cillian Murphy yells in THICK Irish accent, "Fucking hell! The Shit I Put up with! With out a stunt double…"

Lisa runs upstairs.

Jackson chases, dodges a fire extinguisher, gets stabbed with Lisa's high heel, then head butted, and tumbles down the stairs, "GRRRRRR!!!" He locks door to stairway and thinks, 'Weapon…' He gets the knife from his dead Mr. Killer and thinks, "MUAHAHAHAHA!"

**Outside then inside**

Lisa climbs on the scaffolding to get downstairs. She finds the key, and accidentally makes some noise as she sneaks in to the kitchen. Jackson hears her and goes to the kitchen.

Jackson says, "Shit. No Joe."

Lisa says, "Hey!" Jackson gets hit by a vase. Lisa runs upstairs again throwing stuff at Jackson and runs in to a bathroom and locks the door, "Where are your puny facts now, Jack? I know that's not what got you here."

Jackson says, "GRRRRR!: And jams his knife between door and wall.

Lisa mutters, "And you also don't know the secrets of this house. Like this bathroom is connected to another room."

**Downstairs**

JOE WAKES UP!

Joe says, "Good morning."

**Upstairs**

Lisa gets field hockey stick of DOOM from her room and goes to anonymous other person's room with trophies.

Jackson discovers the secrets of the bathroom and thinks, 'AWWW Shit… Do a sweep.'

Lisa is hiding behind the trophy case as Jackson walks in and walks out, "Is he gone?" She checks hallway, no Jackson, checks other room, no Jackson, hears noises in the shower, no Jackson, phone suddenly rings, "HOLY SHIT! HELLO!"

911 on the line, "Sorry it took so long. Some idiot blew up a suite downtown."

Lisa says, "Some one is trying to kill me."

911 replies, "We'll be right there. Lock yourself in a room."

Lisa hangs up, goes to close door.

Jackson says, "BOO!"

Lisa says, "AH! SCARECROW!" (_Batman Begins_ reference)

Jackson swings his knife. Lisa battlers Jackson with her Field hockey stick of DOOM! Jackson gets Field hockey stick of DOOM away from Lisa, slams her against the door.

Lisa says, "You're a pathetic transvestite terrorist." (_Breakfast on Pluto_ reference)

Jackson says, "If I wasn't would you marry me?" (_Breakfast on Pluto_ reference)

Jackson/Lisa fans cheer, "YAY!"

Jackson throws Lisa down the stairs.

Lisa stunt double squeaks, "AK! MY UNDERWEAR!" Jackson nosebleeds. Lisa face palms.

Jackson wheezes and gasps and thinks, 'KNIFE! SIRENS! MUST GET OUT!'

Lisa says, "My gun beats your knife. HA!"

Jackson says, "We'll talk again."

Lisa says, "Go to hell you bastard." And shoots Jackson.

Jackson says, "GRR!" And kicks away the gun and grabs her by her hair.

Joe aims gun, "HEY! UNHAND MY DAUGHTER!" And shoots Jackson.

Jackson goes sprawling, "Wheeze… wheeze…"

Lisa stares at Jackson. Jackson stares at Lisa. Lisa stares at Jackson. Jackson stares at Lisa.

Joe face palms.

**Lux Atlantic**

Cynthia says, "LISA!" She hugs her.

Lisa says, "CYNTHIA!" She hug her.

Lisa says, "Mr. Keefe."

Keefe says, "Thanks for everything."

Mrs. Taylor complains, "COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, HORRIBLE ROOM! PLASTER! ASTHMA! COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN!"

Lisa says, "Shove it up your ass."

Cynthia says, "Let's open the bar?"

Lisa says, "Let's get drunk."


End file.
